Carvel Responds To White Oprah

June 17, 2010 / Posted by:

Earlier I posted about the most difficult and harrowing experience White Oprah has ever had to suffer through! It was even more agonizing than the time Nana Lohan played a cruel April Fool’s Joke on her by replacing all her painkillers with Smarties.

Basically, White Oprah tried to use a Carvel VIP Black Card to get a free birthday cake for her son. The employee at Carvel refused to give it to her since the card is not in her name. White Oprah threw a fit, the cops were called and she never got her free cake. She also pretty much declared herself the Rosa Parks of Carvel.

Well, Fudgie the Whale has responded and he’s sick of being emotionally, financially and physically abused by the Lohans. Bitch. Boom. Byeeeee.

As part of Carvel’s 75th Anniversary celebration last year, we issued 75 Black Cards to celebrities. These cards were issued in the celebrity’s name and require the card holder to be present at the time of use. Many celebrities have enjoyed their cards at our Carvel Ice Cream shoppes and have shared their excitement with being included in the celebration.

Unfortunately, the Lohan family has been abusing the card. While the card was issued in Lindsay and Ali’s names only, her extended family has repeatedly used the card without either present. At first, we graciously honored their requests while explaining that the Black Card was not a carte blanche for unlimited Carvel Ice Cream for the extended Lohan family and friends. After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.

Dina Lohan reacted badly and called the police to have her card returned. The police responded and did return the card to Dina with instructions not to use it again.
This is an unfortunate situation where certain people feel entitled to use a celebrity’s name for their own purposes. We regret that the Lohan family is upset and hope this matter is put behind us quickly.

Large orders for ice cream? So that why is all the drug dealers in Long Island have freezers full of Cookie Pusses and Fudgie the Whales? Trading ice cream for 8-balls. I see you, Lohans.

And this pretty much sums White Oprah up. Always using her daughter’s name to get shit for herself. Leave it to Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale to tell that asshole to sit down. Bitch got owned by Fudgie! That is a beautiful gift to us all. Thank you, Fudgie!

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