Paging Maury

June 15, 2010 / Posted by:

During this whole Tiger Woods whore party, Maury Povich has been sitting by himself in the corner patiently awaiting for the moment he gets to jump up and join the fun and fuckery. Well, Maury’s moment has finally come, (maybe) because a member of Tiger Woods’ whorem claims that she popped out his secret love cub 9 years ago. In a new documentary set to air in the UK, porn star and pussy peddler Devon James claims that Tiger is the father of her 9-year-old son.

Devon and Tiger fucked on each other for about two years, and apparently he hardly ever wore a condom. A source tells Radar Devon got knocked up and gave birth to Baby Tiger in 2001 before Tiger married Elin. Tiger Woods didn’t know about his supposed son until 2006. Tiger has never taken a DNA test or given Devon any money, but she swears deep down in her checking account that he IS the father. Devon says that her baby looks just like Tiger.

If you took your eyeballs out, replaced them with Devon’s and then looked at Tiger Woods, you’d see a giant sparkly gold dollar sign. If you looked at Devon’s son, you’d see the same thing, so they really do look alike to her.

But seriously, bitch needs to stop. The only proof she has is that he sort of looks like Tiger? Did the kid ask for Ambien for his 9th birthday? Can he text message while running from a blonde woman with a golf club? If Devon can honestly answer “yes” to those two questions, then maybe Maury will need to step in.

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