JESUS IS ON FIRE! Or Jesus WAS on fire, and now he’s nothing more than a steel frame. Late last night, God and Jeebus must have had a serious fight up in heaven after watching The Real Housewives of NYC Reunion (God is Team Bethenny, Jesus is Team Jill), because the former sharpened his lightning rod and threw it directly at the giant Big Butter Jesus (aka Touchdown Jesus) statue outside of the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio. The 62-foot-tall statue caught on fire and that shit burned to the ground.
The giant beacon of exquisite tackiness was built in 2004. It was made of plastic form and fiberglass, just like Heidi Montag so that bitch better stop namedropping God on her Twitter. God is never the one.
No injuries were reported, and I’m sure a new one made out of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter will rise in 3 days.
Here’s a video of flaming Jesus. If you squint your eyes, you can almost see Paula Deen running towards it with a giant wheelbarrow.