Blaming It On The Pigs

Tori Spelling is skinnier than a lady bug’s dick, but she swears on Dean McDermott’s butt plug that she doesn’t have an eating disorder. A few months ago, Tori tried to defend her skinniness by Tweeting that she isn’t anorexic because she weighs a whopping 107lbs.

Instead of shutting the rumors down it fueled them even more. The Olsens sent Tori a gift certificate to Burger King and even Posh Beckham Ensured the bitch at a party. Ensuring is just like Icing, but you do it with Ensure instead of Smirnoff Ice, obviously.

In her new book TerriTORI (I really can’t with that title), Tori blamed the swine flu on the reason why she’s so skinny. Tori writes, “I’ve never had a great stomach, but (being ill) just completely tore up my stomach and broke down my immune system, and I’ve basically just been a mess (Ed note. – You can stop there, Tori, and it will be complete) ever since, stomach-wise. It’s about rebuilding my immune system. I’m a role model for a lot of women out there, so I hate that they say these things unwarranted, without any research and facts. I think it’s doing a disservice to women out there that look up to any celebrity.”

If Tori wants to blame the fact that her stomach is as messed up as her face on swine flu, then that’s fine, but she needs to quit that role model shit. Who in the hell looks up to Donna Martin?! Even Emily Valentine is more of a role model than Donna Martin and that ho roofied a bitch and tried to torch West Bev’s parade float.

I guarantee you that anybody who takes one of those “Which 90210 character are you?” quizzes and gets Donna Martin as their answer, immediately throws their computer at the wall. Nobody wants to be Donna Martin!

via UsWeekly