Kate Hudson Scratches Another Line Into Her Victory Wall Of Peens

Since one of my modern-day slut icons, Sienna Miller, has temporarily retired her championship vagina, someone has to take her place. And that someone might be Kate Hudson who has wrapped her snatch ‘o war around another peen.

There were rumors a couple of weeks ago that Kate was dating Matthew Bellamy of Muse, but the two sort of confirmed that mess this weekend by strolling around Paris together. Muse played two shows in Paris, and of course Kate flew over there to get her some. A witness-type tells People, “They seemed very much a couple. Just walking together, enjoying the sunshine.”

Most recently, Kate fucked on A-Rod, Owen Wilson, one of the extras in her movie, the dude who fixed your air conditioning last weekend, two roadies from Warrant, the hobo who always opens the door for me at chase and then curses me out when I don’t give him a dollar, etc…etc… Matthew broke up with his live-in girlfriend late last year.

So what if Kate didn’t tell Matt she was coming and hid under the room service table to get into his room to surprise him. Bitch will go to great lengths to get dicked, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Being a totally desperate ho is okay as long as orgasms are involved.

And those of you who are saying, “But what about poor Ryder?” What about poor Ryder. I’m sure that every time Kate introduces another “uncle” to Ryder, he immediately hands over an orientation package which includes a list of all the places he’s registered at so that her new piece can get a head start on trying to buy his love. Ryder is getting his!