The Jersey Shore’s The Situation is shitting out a club song on iTunes next week, and above is a preview which will make you want to shove a morning after pill into your ear hole. The good news is that the Don Knotts of Guidos doesn’t sing during this auto-tuned disaster, but the bad news is that he tries to rap. The Duck Phone probably raps better than this asshole.
The sad truth is that I can totally picture one of my cousins pussy popping to this fuckery on top of a box in the middle of a club in Riverside, CA somewhere. Every time the emergency siren blares in the song, she’ll drop it low and kiss her Reeboks. Yes, she wears Reeboks to the clubs, because she says she can’t bust it out for real in heels. Yes, I’m in the process of divorcing her.
And I’m still waiting for Snooki’s techno house version of the Oompa Loompa song.