Needs More Orange Grease

June 9, 2010 / Posted by:

Using about half as much wax as Cristiano Ronaldo puts in his hair on a daily basis, the artists at Madame Tussauds created a wax figure of him (on the left) which is now hanging out at their place in London. They almost got it right, but they need to slather that shit in about 5 layers of pizza grease and then lube him up like a 9″ inch dick going into a virgin’s ass before they can call it a day.

And Wax Cristiano is a little bloated in the face, but that is actually pretty accurate. When the real Cristiano goes a full day without plucking at least one eyebrow follicle, he bloats the fuck up just like that. It’s an allergic reaction.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >