Julia Sugarbaker You Are Not

June 9, 2010 / Posted by:

This hair is only okay if you’re a middle-aged Southern divorcee circa 1988 who has the largest collection of Lilly Pulitzer dresses in her circle, drives a Mary Kay pink Cadillac and takes interior design classes at the local community college. Or if you’re a character on Designing Women. It is not okay if you’re Katherine Heigl and the year is 2010.

I mean, did my mom’s hairdresser from Mastercuts travel all the way to present-day London from the 80s to do Hagel’s hair for The Killers premiere tonight? That hair is giving Anthony Bouvier the vapors in a bad way. It’s the worst Julia Sugarbaker impersonation of all-time!

Obviously, that hairspray fuggery is the result of pissing off the wrong gay hairdresser. This was not made with glitter-laced love. The person responsible for this was mess was gritting his teeth the entire time while trying his hardest to not stab her in the arm. Those harsh curls were born from him almost biting his tongue off while working the iron. How dreadful.

Julia Sugarbaker is judging Hagel hard for this:

Yes, that is Julia Sugarbaker’s “I’m judging you” face. She’s an elegant Southern belle, so she hides it well.

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