A while ago, Daddy Spears rounded up all of Brit Brit’s bodyguards for grits and Velveeta fondue to let them know that they not only had to make sure she didn’t go all 5150 in public, but one of their new duties is to not let her leave the house without putting a coat over her bald squirrel. Basically, Daddy Spears want them to do a chonies check before she cross the front door.
Well, one of her former bodyguards, Fernando Flores, says that when the paparazzi got pictures of Brit Brit’s crotch rinds glistening in the sun, he’s the one who took the fall. Fernando also says that he was sexually harassed by Our Lady of Cheetos. And now he wants to sue!
The Sun says that Fernando is telling friends that Brit Brit would regularly walk around nekkid ass nekkid and even tried to lure him into her bedroom so that he could ride her like a plastic pig in front of Piggly Wiggly.
A source explains, “She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action. Working for Britney is tough. She’s a nightmare to deal with and her emotions are totally out of control. She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
Now I’m not saying that Brit Brit has the right to force one of her employees to spread his gravy all over her deflated biscuits, but everybody knows that bitch is crazy! If you go up to any random person in any part of the world and ask them what crazy is, you know they will start humming “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” This is from the school of truths! So when you sign up to work for Brit Brit, you should be surprised if she isn’t shuffling around naked like Nell in the forest. Cheeto, Cheeto, Cheetobee…
By the way, Brit Brit’s nipples are sexually harassing all of us in that picture. Class action lawsuit alert!