Bitch, Where Are Your Brows?

Aisha Tyler needs to immediately report to the nurse’s office and hand over a signed excuse from her parents for why she showed up to Logo’s NewNowNext Awards last night with only a faint shadow of an eyebrow over her eye. I snatch that back. There is no excuse for this! I don’t care if a dingo ate your Sharpie or if meth got your brows, you find a way to make that shit work!

And if Aisha is trying to make the whole “no brows” thing happen, then she needs to stop right now because it’s a losing battle. Looking like “Mona Lisa working at a shake and bake meth lab in Barstow” will never be the look. I don’t care what anyone says. Like Klymaxx and Pop Rocks gum, brows will always be relevant.

Here’s a bunch of other bitches from last night who also should be ashamed of themselves! They let Aisha go in front of the camera like that. There’s enough make-up amongst them to cover the faces of a million Xtinas, so they could’ve easily queefed out a brow for Aisha. These are the names you need to right down in the detention log: Baby Jesus, two free clinic rejects, Pee Weir Herman, Tatiana, Ongina, Mystique Summers, Kelly Osbourne, a Slim Jim in a dress, Kat Von D, and Niecy Nash.