When I first read the headline “Miley Cyrus Does Girl-On-Girl Dancer Kiss On Britain’s Got Talent,” I pictured PedoBear putting up a DO NOT DISTURB sign on his cave door so that he could stick his bits into a jar of honey while watching this in peace. Three minutes later, Billy Ray Cyrus strolls up, gives the secret knock and PedoBear lets him in.
But that image was Magic Erased from my head after I watched the actual video of Miley pretending to mouth fuck one of her dancers. What the hell kind of goddamn fake lesbo kiss is that?! Mickey Mouse is so disappointed. One of his hos let him down.
It’s at the 1:05 mark. Warning: Turn the sound off or suffocate your speakers with a fat pillow before pressing play:
That looked more like a cross-eyed lame crow with mange picking the maggots off a dead rotting pigeon near the interstate. Besides, fauxmosexual onstage kisses don’t get stamped with the HOW SHOCKING label anymore. If Miley truly wanted to surprise hos, she should try emoting a sound that doesn’t make people wish they didn’t have ears. And a paraplegic pony could stomp around better than that.