LEAVE GARY COLEMAN ALONE!!!

Gary Coleman was supposed to be tucked into his coffin and gently laid to rest this weekend, so that he could finally get some peace without annoying bitches always tugging at his collar. But that is not going to happen. Gary’s funeral in Utah has been canceled, because his estranged parents and his ex-wife Shannon Price are fighting over the custody of his body. Where is Mr. Drummond when you need him?

Gary’s parents, Sue and William Coleman, are planning to file some kind of motion in court asking the powers that be to grant them their son’s remains so that they can bury him in Zion, Ill, the city they live in. Their lawyer says that since Gary was divorced from Gummy McTeefs at the time of his death, they are the ones who should make the decisions regarding his final resting place. Their lawyer issued this statement:

“The Colemans don’t want to fight with anyone. They just want to bring their son home. Mr. and Mrs. Coleman are Gary Coleman’s surviving family. They’re hoping that by applying for Formal Probate, they can get through this process the right way. The status of the divorce, whether or not anyone has a will, these are all issues that should be brought to the family’s attention immediately. Formal Probate is the way we make sure it all gets handled properly.”

But Shannon Price refuses to hand him over. Gary’s agent said, “It’s clear that Shannon is the one that Gary wants to represent him, as she did in the hospital. He didn’t mention, at any time, his parents.”

Before his death, Gary’s parents didn’t talk to his ass for years. And Shannon seems like she could give a dick. But suddenly, they are now fighting over him? Fuckery. If Gary was here, he’d throw an early model printer at a bitch or bite them in the knees.