Khloe Kardashian Is Fat, Not Pregnant

June 4, 2010 / Posted by:

A few days ago the creatures of the forest were left shaking in fear after hearing that a new Kardashian Sasquatch might be galloping through their parts soon to eat their young and hump their trees. But they can stop leaving extra Bigfoot traps out for now, because Khloe Kardashian claims she’s pregnant with a gurgling lump of lard. Not a baby.

When Entertainment Tonight asked Khloe if the Kardashian family is adding another employee to their pay roll, she bluntly said, “No, I’m just fat.” Khloe’s mom Kris added, “If Khloe is pregnant, I would be the first to yell it. So, no, she’s not — unless they’re holding out on me, in which case they’re both grounded.”

And since every Kardashian needs to wrap their mouth around a mic when near one, Rob also farted out his two pieces of caca regarding his sister being knocked up, “She’s not pregnant. I live with those two, and I would know if she was pregnant.

Khloe is funny. Khloe’s pimp QuickTrim should really add her “I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat” quote to every one of their boxes.

And that noise you just heard was every one of QuickTrim’s competitors popping their load simultaneously.

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