Peta’s Newest Arch Rival

June 2, 2010 / Posted by:

When Brooke Shields steps out in public, she better watch out for falling flour factories and tidal waves of red paint, because Peta is sharpening their shanks as I type! Seriously, if Brooke thought the voicemails Tommy Girl left saying “glibglibglib” over and over were bad, then she hasn’t seen shit yet.

Brooke recently traveled to Denmark to fulfill her childhood dream of designing a fur coat. HA. YES, as that bitch sat on her potty training potty, dream bubbles filled with images of her handling dead animal pelts danced over her head. Was she Alexis Carrington or Cruella de Ville as a child?! Actually, my childhood dream was to be Alexis Carrington when I grow up, so I understand where Brooke is coming from (not really).

While making her very own coat at the Kopenhagen Fur Studio, Brooke spoke to the IFTF Blog about how she gets a boner for fur. She told them, “Wearing fur may be associated with something grandmotherish. Something you wear when you visit the opera, or if you are a rock star and wear it inside out. But I will advocate that both my generation and the younger generation can wear fur. I will wear the fur garment when I follow my children to school, when I drink coffee and when I sleep.”

Then she took a piece of fur, caressed her genital area with it and said, “My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn’t?

I mean, what is Brooke going on about? So she likes fur coats, okay. But sleeping in her fur coat? Drinking Sanka in it? Her unquenchable thirst for fluffy animal fur has made her crazier in the brains. Forget what Tommy Girl said! Eat a med, Brooke. And you can eat it while wearing your fur coat if that helps.

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