Worst Trip Of All Time

June 1, 2010 / Posted by:

When you’re tripping out on shrooms, you’re supposed to hold long deep conversations with potted plants about the meaning of life and spend hours petting an imaginary purple kitten in the sky. You’re not supposed to do what MMA fighter Jarrod Wyatt did to his sparring partner. The NYDN reports that on March 21st, 26-year-old Jarrod allegedly cut an 18-inch hole into Taylor Powell’s chest, pulled out his heart and then cut up his tongue and face. Both Jarrod and Taylor were high on shroom tea at the time. And I thought my hallucination about tiny chickens invading my brain through my ear holes was a bad trip.

When the police showed up to the home in Klamath, CA and found Taylor’s body, Jarrod told them that he saw the devil in his face. Jarrod thought that the world was about to end and he needed to murder the evil. Jarrod also admitted to cooking up Taylor’s body parts in a wood stove, because he believed it was the only way to “stop the devil.” At one point, Jarrod asked the police if they were God coming to save him.

Jarrod was charged with aggravated mayhem, torture and first-degree murder. Jarrod’s lawyer is fighting the charges, because he argued this his client was having a psychotic breakdown. His lawyer added, “My client was trying to silence the devil.”

Anybody who has heard a Ke$ha song knows what the devil’s cackle sounds like, but you don’t cut out someone’s heart over it. Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other).

And it’s unclear whether or not he was on shrooms at the time he got that haircut.

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