42-year-old Celine Dion and her 105-year-old dusty husband René Angelil are expecting their second and third child together, so says her rep to People Magazine. Celine got a case of the double babies 14 weeks ago after her sixth in-vitro fertilization attempt. Celine also tried some acupuncture shit to increase her chances at getting pregnant.
Celine announced she was pregnant 10 months ago, but it turned out to be a false positive. Celine recently told Oprah that she’s been trying to get knocked up to give her 9-year-old son R(roll that “R” like you’re trying to hawk a loogie)ené-Charles a brother or a sister.
René Angelil issued this statement of words to People: “We’re ecstatic. Celine is just hoping for a healthy pregnancy. She was hoping for one baby and the news that we are having two is a double blessing!”
Congrats to Celine and the Canadian Santy Claus! Let’s all grab two bottles (because we’ve got two hands) and drink to that! And then drink some more since Celine can’t. And then drink MORE for her twins (which I hope she names TAKE-A and Kayak), because they just won the lottery. I mean, this is Celine’s backyard.
Who the fuck has Raging Waters in their backyard? Looking at that just makes me want to pee in Chlorine.