Everyone Is Breaking Up!

May 30, 2010 / Posted by:

People Magazine confirms that 62-year-old Barbara Hershey and 41-year-old Naveen Andrews have ended their relationship after 12 years. Naveen’s rep said that they flushed their love down the toilet nearly 6 months ago. Maybe Barbara got a hold of the Lost finale script and she just couldn’t condone that ending.

Naveen started greasing up Barbara’s thighs with his curls back in 1998. They split up briefly in 2005, and during that time he passed his peen to another woman and knocked her up. Despite the fact that Naveen fathered a love child while they were on a break, the two worked things out and got back together. And now they’re done.

Naveen better pull up his panties and back the hell up, because he’s about to be attacked by a mob of crazed ladies. A mob led by my mom, because after the Lost finale aired, the first thing she said to me on the phone was, “That Sayid. DAMN!” Yeah, I don’t want to know what she meant by that “DAMN” either. I don’t EVER want to know. My ears are dead to that “DAMN.” Let’s not ever speak of that “DAMN” again.

P.S. – It’s Sunday, so don’t ask me to solve the mystery of what is going on with Barbara Hershey’s mouth area. Dimples where there shouldn’t be and shit.

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