Gary Coleman Is On Life Support

May 28, 2010 / Posted by:

Gary Coleman was hospitalized on Wednesday afternoon in Utah after he fell and fucked up his head. Since Gary seems to always bounce back quickly, I figured it was only a matter of time before he was throwing printers at his wife and kicking nosy fans in the ankles. But unfortunately, shit has gone from serious to serious serious. Gary’s manager tells E! News that he is currently in a coma and on life support. This just makes me want to scream for MRS. GARRETT!!!

Gary’s manager gave the bad news in a statement released this morning: “As of mid-morning on May 27, Mr. Coleman was conscious and lucid. By early afternoon, Mr. Coleman was slipping in and out of consciousness and his condition worsened. We are saddened to announce that since mid-afternoon, Mountain Time, on May 27, 2010, Mr. Coleman has been unconscious and on life support. At this critical moment, we can only ask for your thoughts and prayers for Gary to make a speedy and full recovery.

I blame the child toucher from Diff’rent Strokes. And I also blame the audience who laughed at the child toucher’s jokes.

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