Michael Bay Will Still Jack Off To This

This is Heidi Montag’s audition tape for “Transfarters 3″ (I think that’s what the hick at the beginning said) audition, and it’s the most hilariously terrifying thing I’ve seen since watching that toddler work a cig like a pro. Except that fag-smoking toddler has the smarts to turn the gun on the camerdouche (aka Spencer Twatt).

Miss Plastic Anal Bead face Twittered this sad display of patheticness to Michael Bay in hopes that he would cast her as Megan Fox’s replacement. The only problem is that the dildo-brained asshole Twittered it to a fake Michael Bay account. But nobody tell her that, because we need her to believe that her callback is being held at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. Top Kill does need some villains.

And the saddest thing about this mess is that Heidi’s tortured gun doesn’t have hands to pick up another gun and shoot itself in the mouth.