The Child Abuse Excuse

May 26, 2010 / Posted by:

During Vanilla Gorilla’s interview with Nightline’s Vicky Mabrey, which aired last night, he said that while he was in rehab for sticking his dick into any orifice that spits back he learned that the physical abuse he suffered as a child had something to do with why he cheated on Sandra Bullock. VG claims that his father Joe Jackson-ed him several times and even broke his arm once. VG’s father has denied all of this.

VG went on to explain that getting his ass whooped by his father turned him into an insecure man with major abandonment issues. VG says that he never felt he was good enough for Sandra, which caused him to fuck around with dumpster skanks behind her back.

VG said, “I grew up with a huge amount of shame and fear and abandonment on my shoulders from a very young age and I think, you know, the way my mind rationalized cheating. ‘Well, you know, I might as well do whatever I can to like run her off cause she is going to find out what I am anyway and leave me anyway.’ The struggle within myself for the things that I did …to damage marriage and my life and everything else, it’s all me. I’m doing it because, you know, I’ve basically never felt good enough for anyone.”

VG also doesn’t think he’s addicted to pussy in a chronic way, “I don’t think I have a sex addiction where I’m running around trying to have sex with everyone and I can’t stop. I think I do things to sabotage myself, including having extramarital affairs, texting, over-working myself, injuring myself, doing stunts and stupid things. I do a lot of things in my life that I shouldn’t be doing that aren’t conducive to being a good husband. The affair is just one of them.”

I’m happy (not really) for Vanilla Gorilla that he’s seen the light, but didn’t a “Maybe I need therapies” thought bubble ever pop up over his head while he was sucking on Bombshell McGee’s Swastika tattoo for the first time? The light just happened to fall into his lap after the bitch got caught? Okay.

I never got my ass beat hardcore as a child, so I won’t comment on his child abuse excuse. And just for the record, my abuelita slapping me in the ass with her chankla isn’t abuse. It’s a lesson! My abuelita told me to say that.

You know, now that I think about it my mother not giving us soda as kids is a form of child abuse. So that’s the reason why I’m such a dumb slut with the morals of a subway rat.

A clip of VG’s interview is below:

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