Men’s Health Magazine has put out their annual Worst Drinks in America list and Cold Stone Creamery’s PB&C shake took the #1 spot thanks to the 2,010 calories your body will gain if you drink an entire 24 fl oz cup of it.
To put this into perspective, 2,010 calories is what you would ingest if you licked a little bit of Paul Mason’s pre-cum or inhaled near Aretha Franklin after she sneezed. On the other side, I don’t think Angie Jo has consumed 2,010 calories total in her lifetime.
Here’s the details from Men’s Health. Keep a shot of insulin near you just in case:
Cold Stone PB&C (Gotta Have It size, 24 fl oz)
131 g fat (68 g saturated)
153 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 30 Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
In terms of saturated fat, drinking this Cold Stone catastrophe is like slurping up 68 strips of bacon. Health experts recommend capping your saturated fat intake at about 20 grams per day, yet this beverage packs more than three times that into a cup the size of a Chipotle burrito. But here’s what’s worse: No regular shake at Cold Stone, no matter what the size, has fewer than 1,000 calories. If you must drink your ice cream, make it one of the creamery’s “Sinless” options. Otherwise you’d better plan on buying some bigger pants on the way home
Kirstie Alley is probably throwing a Kanye shrug at this, because she puts SlimFast powder in a PB&C shake and makes a sensible breakfast out of it. Hell, she probably brushes her teeth with it.
That mess is every flavor of disgusting, and yet I still want to bathe in a bath tub full of it. Goodbye working arteries, hello deliciousness!