Over the weekend, the News of the World unofficially crowned Sarah Ferguson the true Duchess of Pimps after they posted a video of her trying to whore out her ex-husband Prince Andrew for $750,000. The tape was part of an undercover investigation to get Fergie to agree to sell business access to Prince Andrew, who is a British trade representative. The NOTW says they heard on the stroll that Fergie was willing to sell access to her ex, so they sent in an undercover reporter (posing as a fancy businessman) to catch her in the act!
In the video, Fergie accepts a $40,000 down payment and tells the undercover reporter that she will introduce him to Prince Andrew and open any door he wants. Fergie also claimed that Prince Andrew knew of the deal and told her to demand $750,000. Fergie says on the video, “He knows that he’s had to underwrite me up to now because I’ve got no money.” Prince Andrew swears Fergie is lie-telling and he didn’t know anything about what was going down.
After the NOTW published their ESCANDALO expose, Fergie came out and apologized to the royal family for trying to pimp their shit out. Fergie said, “I very deeply regret the situation and the embarrassment caused. It is true that my financial situation is under stress. However, that is no excuse for a serious lapse in judgment, and I am very sorry that this has happened. I can confirm that the Duke of York was not aware or involved in any of the discussions that occurred.”
Scotland Yard says that Fergie did nothing illegal, so she won’t be shuffled off to the chokey at this time.
You can’t fault Fergie for doing what she needs to do to keep her wine glass filled with her medicine and her lungs filled with fag smoke. The Weight Watchers money dried up a long time ago, and Prince Hot Ginge keeps telling her to “FUCK OFF” when she asks him to pose for tasteful nudes, so what else is she supposed to do?!
And while watching this sequel to The Grifters, I kept waiting for Patsy and Edina to stumble in to tell Fergie to hurry her ass up before they huffed all the gas from their waiting car.