Tila Tequila Is Not Going Away

May 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Since Vh1 has yet to greenlight Celebrity Mental Institution, Tila Tequila will instead hump the cameras with her goblin-bred fuckery on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The fact that Vh1 still gets away with calling that shit Celebrity Rehab despite the absence of both “celebrities” and actual “rehab” is beyond me. But keep fucking that chicken, Dr. Drew.

TMZ says that Tila is the first wreck to sign up to the fourth season of Celebrity Rehab. It’s going to be fun watching Dr. Drew try to find a cure for Tila’s addiction to being a famewhoring delusional skank slut. SPOILER ALERT: There is no cure.

Even though the show now has an A-list media mogul in its cast, there’s still a chance that it will never make it to production. Apparently, nobody wants Dr. Drew’s help anymore. Heather Locklear, Charlie Sheen, Jenna Jameson and the creme de la crackie creme Lindsay Lohan have already turned it down.

If the show doesn’t happen, can’t they just lie to Tila and tell her the new season is shooting at the bottom of Eyjafjallajokull volcano? That will finally get Dr. Drew a Nobel Peace Prize. And if the show does happen, Dr. Drew needs to get Gary Busey to come back as a mentor and put him in a room with Tila dressed as a corn on the cob. Two chomps and the bitch will be gone.

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