Julimess Caesar Is Heading Home

May 22, 2010 / Posted by:

Looking like a 45-year-old graveyard shift casino cocktail waitress at Caesars in Atlantic City (no offense to 45-year-old graveyard shift casino cocktail waitresses at Caesars in AC), Lindsay Lohan spent her last night in Cannes partying on Lady Victoria Hervy’s yacht before returning to the US to face Judge Not The One.

You know homegirl was trying to find a way to hijack that boat and drive it all the way to Switzerland to hide out with Polanski. But sadly, Blohan did not try to make a run for it. Just when she was about to hit the gas, she heard a vial opening somewhere and immediately lost focus. Blohan eventually walked the plank off the yacht and is now on a flight headed for California. By the way, she’s not blocking the camera flashes in the picture above. She’s reading the directions she wrote on her palm on how to walk in a straight line. Sometimes she forgets.

Oh, and White Oprah recently told Radar her thoughts on the judge’s decision to issue a bench warrant for her daughter’s arrest. White Oprah said, “The judge is making an example out of her because of her celebrity status, which I don’t think is fair.” Celebrity status?! That White Oprah is funny! She should really pursue a career in sit-down comedy. I was about to write “stand-up” but we all know that drunk bitch can’t do that for more than a few seconds.

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