Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 21, 2010 / Posted by:

Sonja Morgan, restaurant hostess turned gold digger extraordinaire turned cast member on The Real Housewives of New York City

Before Sonja Morgan became the Dr. Drew of RHONY, she was married to John Adams Morgan, heir to the J.P. Morgan fortune. They met while she was working as a restaurant hostess at some Italian restaurant in Manhattan. Dude is a few eternities older than her. They married, had one kid and divorced in 2006. Sonja loves diamonds, one night fucks, spiritual healers and dog shit. And now Sonja is taming the mob of brain dead loontardians on RHONY.

Sonja is quite possibly the sanest bitch on that mess of a show, which isn’t saying much because the other crazies should be wearing straitjackets and electrified headbands in a tub full of ice cold water with Nurse Ratched standing over them screaming, “Medication time! Medication time!

Seriously, at some point during last night’s episode I thought my TV effed up again and switched over to Girl, Interrupted. I was waiting for Whoopi Goldberg to show up with an injection for each of them! You know Kelly Bensimon keeps chicken carcasses and mutilated stuffed animals under her bed. After last night’s dinner, she probably sat on the floor next to her bed and picked the jelly bean bits out of her teeth with a chicken bone while repeating to herself, “Satchelsofgold Satchelsofgold Satchelsofgold.” Bitch left her sanity in St. John.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s okay. Anybody who watched that PSA for insanity last night still doesn’t know what happened. All we know is that Sonja sat there like Jeremy Renner in the Hurt Locker trying to diffuse the bomb of craziness when all she wanted was a DRANK. Here’s a little taste from last night’s episode:

Why was I waiting for the number to the National Institution of Mental Health to flash on the screen at the end of the episode? “If you or someone you know is crazier than a Bensimon, CALL THIS NUMBER NOW!!!”

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