Cancel the parade from LAX to the jail house, because Lindsay Lohan will not be put into handcuffs when she flies into Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon from France. The arrest warrant shoved between LiLo’s ass cheeks has been lifted, because she paid 10% of her $100,000 bail.
Earlier today, Judge Marsha Revel issued a bench warrant for LiLo’s arrest and set her bail at $100,000 after she didn’t show up to court.
Right after the judge dropped her gavel, White Oprah shook a few coins out of her cooch (there were a few lodged up there from the old days), stole one of Nana Lohan’s social security checks and sold Ali Lohan into white slavery so that she could pay $10,000 to secure LiLo’s bond.
You shouldn’t completely throw away your dream of a pap getting a picture of Lindsay Lohan bawling like a Wonky while being taken away in a squad car, because she still has to show up to court on Monday morning with her lawyer. If she doesn’t, she could be arrested. So you know what to wish right before you blow some random dude in the bathroom of a bar this weekend. Yes, you should always make a wish before you blow anything. Know this!