The One-Eyed Olympic Mascots

In London today, officials introduced the world to the mascots for the Summer Olympics and Paralympics in 2012. Meet Wenlock (the one-eyed bitch on the left) and Mandeville (the other bitch), the two mascots that were created specifically to get children excited about Olympic sports. Metro UK has the story on these two acid trip creations:

Wenlock is named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock, which first hosted the ‘Wenlock Olympian Games’ in the 1850s – a precursor to the modern Olympic games whose founder, Dr. William Penny Brookes, was one of the key figures in the establishment of the Olympic movement.

Mandeville, meanwhile, is named after the location where the Paralympic movement was founded after World War II – the ‘International Wheelchair Games’ were held to coincide with the 1948 London Olympics in Stoke Mandeville, Buckinghamshire.

I don’t even know if kids are going to get into these two, but ravers who can’t let go most definitely will. Wenlock is what a peen looks like under a strobe light when you’ve just dropped acid and Ecstasy at the same time. And Mandeville looks like a walking Kotex maxi-pad with a blue vagina. You nasty, London!

Seriously, London did not need to chew on a glow stick to come up with their new mascots. All they needed to do was to place a call to one Harvey Price and one Jodie Marsh. They are the perfect mascots created by God himself (and a few dozen back alley plastic surgeons in Jodie’s case). No changes necessary!