Amy Wino Has Replaced Blaaaaake With An IV Drip

Amy Wino is back at home this morning. And by “home” I don’t mean an ice pop shop, a Capezio, the space under a table at a bar in St. Lucia or the gutter in front of a crack house. No, Wino is back at THE CLINIC! It’s Wino’s favorite place in the world and she gets to visit often since she regularly trips on the wind during her drunken binges. This time Wino is laid up in a hospital bed because she got the ills after partaking in a booze party for one. Maybe Wino just had bad whiskey? Whenever I’m barfing up my stomach lining after drinking, I always blame it on bad whiskey.

A source tells The Sun, “She’s there because she had a load to drink and was really unwell afterwards. Not just sick, really poorly. But as she really likes it in there, she was happy to go in for a few days. She’s spending more time in the clinic than anywhere else at the moment.”

Who wouldn’t love spending time at THE CLINIC? It’s just like visiting your memaw, but instead of warm cookies (or microwaved galletas de mantequilla like my abuelita serves), they serve you warm painkillers. And instead of finding a towel rolled into a heart shape in the guest bathroom, you get to piss in a bin. And instead of getting hit with a belt buckle in the hand when you mouth off, you get an injection of Rivotril when you act the fool. So really, THE CLINIC is like heaven wrapped in an itchy sheet that smells like bleach.

Oh, and apparently Wino isn’t with Blaaaaaake anymore. But I’m sure as soon as I hit “publish” on this post, there will be some story about how he’s back to siphoning morphine out of her IV hole.