The “Over The Moon” Watch: Kelly Preston Is Pregnant

May 18, 2010 / Posted by:

Star Magazine is swearing that 47-year-old Kelly Preston is 3 months pregnant and the father is her husband John Travolta. Don’t look at me. I don’t know how it happened either, but I’m sure it involved Tommy Girl doing the Scientology fertility dance (aka the opening number to Xanadu) in a white feathered thong with L. Ron Hubbard’s face on the crotch while Kirstie Alley ate Oreo Cakesters in the corner. Kiristie didn’t have to be there, but she heard it was going to be catered so….

Anyway, we don’t need to know the rest of the details. We don’t need to board that spaceship. Speaking of spaceships…

The source tells Star that Kelly and John are over the you know what: “Kelly is about three months pregnant. Both she and John are absolutely over the moon — they knew in their hearts that the time was right for this to happen.”

John and Kelly probably LITERALLY went over the moon so that Xenu could high-five their asses and pass them a basket of barley water and bottles to last the baby at least 20 years. Suri Cruise will teach the Travolta baby how to pull off the “still drinking out of a bottle at the age 4″ look.

The Travoltas have had a shit couple of years with their son dying last year, and then their dog friends passing away last week, so congratulations to them if this is true. Nanu nanu.

UPDATE: It’s true. The Travolta family issued this statement of words to People:
It’s impossible to keep a secret … especially one as wonderful as this. We want to be the first to share this great news with everyone that we are expecting a new addition to our family.
Love, John, Kelly and Ella

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