CBS must not care that Charlie Sheen just finished rehab, might be on his way to jail for domestic abuse, and is probably only able to breathe through his mouth due to crusted over cokegers blocking his nasal passage, because they have just signed him on for two more years of Two and a Half Men. Charlie was keeping his legs closed, because he wanted more money out of the network and it looks like he got it.
Variety (via USA Today) has it on good authority that Charlie is getting nearly $2 million per episode. This makes him the highest paid actor in television. The one-man call girl bailout had this to say, “To put a fitting end on the 2 1/2 months of whirlwind speculation, I’m looking forward to returning to my CBS home on Monday nights.”
But what about the kid on that show? How much is he stuffing into the shoe box under his bunk bed? CBS has already injected him with all kinds of dwarf hormones to keep him “half a man” forever, so I’m really afraid for his future. That’s why he should cross his little arms and demand millions from CBS, so he won’t have to sell his autographed underoos in the future.