David Walliams of Little Britain married Dutch supermodel Lara Stone in London yesterday, and everybody in Harvey Price’s address book (aka every single celebrity on that side of the Atlantic) showed up. Well, everybody except for a bride’s most important guests: EYEBROWS!!!!! Here comes the bride, and there goes me to the local Walgreens to buy that bitch a pencil! Why wasn’t her “something borrowed” brows?!
Seriously, did Lara Stone’s eyebrows star in a real-life remake of Runaway Bride and bust out of that bitch? Bitch didn’t get cold feet, she got cold brows! I don’t know how David repeated the words “I David, take you Lara” when she looks like she just crawled out from under the rubble of a meth lab explosion.
How can you trust someone with your full heart when they seem to be in love with the fact that they look like something out of The Hills Have Eyes. The Stone Needs Brows is more like it. It’s one of the most important days of your life and you’re doing it without brows? Something’s wrong with that ho. Hopefully, they honeymoon at the Sharpie factory so she can work that shit out. If she doesn’t use a Sharpie now, she’ll be using one to sign divorce papers in the near future. Truthery.
Here’s some pictures of David and his brow-less bride. When Lara threw the bouquet, I bet you the ladies in the crowd threw their brow pencils back at her.