I See You, Gaycrest

May 17, 2010 / Posted by:

That Ryan Gaycrest is smoother than a dick poke to the taint. Page Six is saying that Simon Cowell’s nipple hair braider of choice is getting closer to Julianne Hough of Dancing with the Stars. When the rumors first came up last month, Julianne quickly denied that mess, but some source is saying that things between her and Gaycrest are getting hotter than his flat iron.

The source said that Gaycrest and Julianne went out on a date last month, and went for a second one recently. You know what’s going on here, right? When Gaycrest takes the TV into his dressing room’s bathroom to watch DWTS in peace, Julianne is not the Hough he’s finger banging himself to.

Julianne better be getting some shit out of this, because it can’t be comfortable letting Gaycrest stroke your nalgas with his tongue while you’re wearing a wig and a plastic muscle suit. ”

In case you need for me to break it down for you, put on your Math Wiz cap and let’s go:

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This is the closet Gaycrest will get to living out his wet dream of heavy petting with Derek Hough, and that makes him:

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