Lawrence Taylor Needs More People

May 12, 2010 / Posted by:

Lawrence Taylor’s attorneys will try to fight the 3rd degree rape charge against him by saying that he didn’t do sex stuff with the 16-year-old girl in a motel room. Lawrence’s attorneys will claim that he jacked his dick off in front of her, but never had sex with her. Lawrence is also giving the Kanye shrug at the condom found in the room. Lawrence says it didn’t come from him.

I hope Lawrence’s lawyers washed their hands after yanking that excuse out of his shitty ass.

A source close to the case tells TMZ that Lawrence isn’t trying to deny that he was in the same motel room as the girl, but he is claiming that he didn’t do with her like that. New York state law says that “a person is guilty of rape in the third degree when … he or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than seventeen years old.”

So Lawrence Taylor wants everyone to believe that he rolled out of bed, put on his chanklitas (you know he wears the rattan ones with socks) and drove down to a motel to pay $300 to polish his peen off in front of a prostitute he had no idea was under the age of 18? Yes, Lawrence, jack me off with 3 $100 bills, because I’m buying that excuse.

Somebody also needs to charge Lawrence with being a DUMB FUCK BITCH in the first degree (that’s the exact legal term for it, by the way). Why would anybody pay money to fuck themselves when they can stay home and do it on Chat Roulette for free?

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