Tyra Banks Strikes Again!

Ty Ty the Terrible will not stop until she has raped and pillaged every single industry on this planet. That is why she is releasing a book. And no, it’s not called The Truly Tyra-ized Version Of The Tyra Banks Story About Tyra Banks As Told By Tyra Banks For Tyra Banks. It’s worse.

Ty Ty is writing a young adult fantasy novel that is being described as Harry Potter meets America’s Next Top Model. Ty Ty’s fantasy book takes readers into a magical world where superhuman supermodels called “intoxibellas” learn to perfect their powers at an exclusive academy. Ty Ty seriously needs to switch to a less toxic brand of wig glue already.

Here’s the press release from Ty Ty via People:

“It’s my novel called Modelland (pronounced “Model Land”) that takes you to a fantastical place you’ve never seen, or heard about, or read about before … Where dreams come true and life can change in the blink of a smoky eye.

Modelland has always been a part of my mind and my heart. I’m excited that you’ll be able to read about this magical world that’s been living in my dreams for so many years.”

Dear Zeus, please release the Kraken on Modelland:

Why bother reading Modelland when you can read Everybody Poops instead. It will leave you with the same taste in your mouth and it has less words. That’s the same thing I tell my mom when she says she doesn’t have the time to read Dlisted.