Battle Of The Fake Losers

May 11, 2010 / Posted by:

Michael Lohan, E*Trade, sanity and soap aren’t Lindsay Lohan’s only arch rivals. Apparently, the pride of Canada Avril Lavigne is also feeling the wrath of Blohan (feels like a hot bath in the Rock of Love Bus septic tank).

Page Six says that Avril, who is eternally a 13-year-old MySpace slut, is mad at LiLo for ignoring her at an event a while ago. Most people run home, light their saint candles and say a “thank you” prayer to the gods above whenever LiLo ignores them, but Avril felt the opposite. So when LiLo tried to play nice with her at the Chateau Marmont the other night, Avril threw shit right back at her which led to a public display of patheticness.

A witness-type says, “Avril was at a table with friends just over a week ago including her boyfriend, Brody Jenner, when Lindsay came over to say hi. But as soon as she approached, Avril launched at her and said: ‘Get the hell out of my face, you are fake, you are a loser. I don’t like false people. Stay away from me and my friends.’ Lindsay was furious and screamed back: ‘Don’t threaten me!’ She then stormed off to security and tried to get them to kick Avril out. They refused to force Avril to leave. Lindsay eventually stormed off.”

First of all, LiLo should curtsy and say thank you to anybody who calls her a fake loser, because that is probably the nicest thing anyone has said to her in MONTHS. Second of all, Avril Lavigne was most likely wearing a “Sk8R Gurlz Do It Better” trucker cap and sipping on an Ed Hardy energy drink, so she is only allowed to use the word loser if she’s looking in a mirror. AND Avril is humping on Brody Jenner!

If the word loser had legs and arms, it would’ve ricocheted off of Lilo and drop kicked Avril in the mouth. Avril and LiLo both need to fuck a faucet, because the Fake and Loser store is out of both of them.

Besides, didn’t these two get the memo that the Chateau Marmont is not the place for creatures of irrelevancy to battle it out. Dancing with the Has-Beens is! Tuck your meat and take it to the dancefloor!

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