Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 9, 2010 / Posted by:

The legendary mother of all….BETTY WHITE!!!

There are no words to perfectly express my love for Betty White, so I made her this flawlessly executed Mother’s Day card. Don’t be jealous of my skills!

After watching her triumphant debut on SNL last night, I sat in my little plastic orange chair at the craft table and put together this card for Betty using construction paper, Elmer’s and safety scissors. The teacher still gave me a fail for my cutting skills, but she should try scissoring while stoned (that may or may not be a euphemism). It’s not as easy as you think.

If I could I would also send her a bouquet of pink paper mache flowers and a fake coupon valid for one free pancake breakfast prepared by me. Although, I should really send her a carton full of menudo soup, because you know she’s broke off and dozed off today from getting crunk with Jay-Z at the after-party.

Happy Mama Je’e’s Day to the Internet’s mother Betty White and to all the other mothers out there! Don’t do shit today. Make your chirruns light your bong, stir your cocktails and slap themselves in the face for you. Don’t lift a finger. You deserve it!

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