Courtney Love Says Homely Girls Do It Better

Military scientists should carefully study Courtney Love’s snatch, because she claims she’s the real sexual napalm and has the shit to make the dicks go boom. And a good morning to you too! There’s nothing like waking up with a giant image of Courtney’s war zone vagina winking at you. If you’re head isn’t already in a pinata from your acts of Cinco de Mayo debauchery last night, then you might want to stick your head in one now. Right before you suck the last drop of Patron from the bottle.

In an interview with music journalist Toure (via Page Six), Courtney Love admitted that she’s a star in the sex sack, because she’s not pretty. Courtney said that beautiful women fuck like the plastic on a Fruit Roll-Up, because they can rely on their looks to bring the orgasms. Courtney went on to say, “Pretty girls just lie there. Us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try a lot harder. That’s why pretty girls never threaten me — it’s like, yeah, you want to take me on? Take me on. Go for it.”

When a dude finishes screwing on Courtney’s dilapidated roach motel, he immediately sprints his ass into the nearest bathroom, locks the door, turns on the hot water and runs his dick under it while punching himself in the eyes with a bar of soap. Courtney lounges in the bed giving her snatch a pat for a job well done, because she thinks the dude’s cries of pain are really screams of pleasure from thinking about what just happened. Delusion is a fucked up drug. Stay crazy, Courtney.

Here’s Sexual Crack leaving a club in London last night.