Lady Caca originally wrote “Telephone” for Our Lady of Cheetos, but she passed on it because her camp decided it would be weird for her to be singing about telephones when she can’t even use one without getting written permission from her Daddy Spears first. Good move. But before Brit Brit call blocked “Telephone“, she recorded a demo. Apparently, someone bought the demo for $750 from iLeaks. There’s a little debate as to whether this real.
Even T-Pain is making the sign of the cross at this auto-tuned mess, so it could really be anyone. It could be Brit Brit, R2D2, a robot dog meowing into a fan, Lady Caca’s peen while suffering from laryngitis or the dude on my computer who tells me when a file is “finished downloading.” Probably the latter.
But the real story here is who in the hell paid $750 for THIS?! They could have bought Brit a priest to exorcise the beast on top of her head, a custom made Cheeto bra or a day supply of Frapps. Although, I should really go sit in the corner with the bitch who bought this, because I’m currently looking at a pair of autographed lucite heels from Shauna Sand that I got on eBay for the price of a round of cocktails. But in my defense, I had to buy those exquisite lucite heels since it’s part of my religion.