Roman Polanski Has Some Shit To Say

Roman Polanski, who is currently on forced vacation in his fancy Swiss chalet, took a little time out from watching reruns of Toddlers & Tiaras and Skype-ing with Pedobear to write a 908-word statement about his extradition from Switzerland to the United States. Roman released the long ass letter through his friend Bernard-Henri Lévy. Roman believes we should all leave him alone, because he’s already served time for raping a 13-year-old girl.

You can read the entire thing at Deadline Hollywood, but you might want to save yourself some time by farting into your hand and then smelling it. It will leave you with the same taste in your mouth. Here’s a little snip of Roman’s letter:

I can now remain silent no longer!

I can remain silent no longer because the American authorities have just decided, in defiance of all the arguments and depositions submitted by third parties, not to agree to sentence me in absentia even though the same Court of Appeal recommended the contrary.

I can remain silent no longer because the California court has dismissed the victim’s numerous requests that proceedings against me be dropped, once and for all, to spare her from further harassment every time this affair is raised once more.

I can remain silent no longer because there has just been a new development of immense significance…..

I can no longer remain silent because the United States continues to demand my extradition more to serve me on a platter to the media of the world than to pronounce a judgment concerning which an agreement was reached 33 years ago.

I can remain silent no longer because I have been placed under house arrest in Gstaad and bailed in very large sum of money which I have managed to raise only by mortgaging the apartment that has been my home for over 30 years, and because I am far from my family and unable to work.

Such are the facts I wished to put before you in the hope that Switzerland will recognize that there are no grounds for extradition, and that I shall be able to find peace, be reunited with my family, and live in freedom in my native land.

But can he remain silent any longer?

It took Roman 908 words to basically say, “WAH! WAH! WAH! WAAAAAH!” Roman is crying and moaning about how he feels he’s not being treated fairly, yet he’s sipping Swiss Miss hot chocolate from a St. Bernard’s barrel collar in the comfort of a luxurious chalet instead of making grilled cheese on a radiator in prison. I couldn’t offer him a drop of sympathy even if I stuck a Quaalude up my culo.