Open Post: Hosted By A Trio Of Piping Hot Pieces

Start up your genitals, because I’ve got three orgasm inducers for you today. I know, what did you do deserve a trio of sweet deserts like this?

First on the menu is Mickey Rourke who is WAY too sexy for his tank top from the juniors department. Mickey’s nipples are trying to cut their way out of his top while his barbecue roasted gut is trying to bust out of that bitch. This is the real reason for why it was 90 degrees in NYC yesterday. When Mickey hit the streets, millions of crotches overheated.

Our next course features an unidentified hunk of sweaty love seen with Shirley MacLaine in Malibu last night. Shirley’s piece, who has eyes like a crackhead in heat, is not only causing his own pits to spit out the creamy panty pudding, but look at what he’s doing to ole’ girl. Shirley is hollerin’ like there’s a four alarm fire down below. And he’s barely touching her! We better line up, because he definitely has powers.

Lastly, I have for you Michael Bay flashing a piece of his charbroiled chest at a Lakers game last night. The truth is, I tricked you a bit. Michael is the opposite of a hot piece, but I really didn’t want to take you over the edge. After suffering third degree burns from looking at two Adonises, you needed something to cool you off. Michael is your bowl of ice.