When I first read Cynthia Nixon’s name on the list of celebrities attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, I immediately rubbed a layer of SPF 10 million over my eyes to prepare them for the vision of the glorious Rojo Caliente in a custom made white tuxedo from the GOD collection at Men’s Warehouse. Well, I nearly blinded myself for no reason, because it doesn’t look like Rojo Caliente was even there. Oh, Rojo continues to elude me like proper grammar.
Doesn’t Rojo know that Obama only agreed to show up because he wanted to witness her beauty for himself? Sigh. Even though Rojo was not there to dazzle Obama’s soul, he still managed to perform. Here he is throwing ZINGS and SNAPS left and fucking right:
UPDATE: Forget everything I said above, because Rojo Caliente was there. AND HOW!
Doesn’t Rojo look sharp as all fuck? Rojo looks like she’s about to tap dance off walls and shit! How is that frosty beverage she’s holding not bubbling over? It’s the luckiest glass in the world. I’ve never wanted to spoon with a glass until now.
And here’s some celebrities who were invited to last night’s dinner for whatever reason. Don’t ask me how some (Michelle Obama and Betty White not included) of these hos got an invitation. Most of them don’t even belong at the White Castle Correspondents’ Dinner let alone the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
In order: a future People Magazine “I’m a lesbian” cover fetus, some drag queen, Jessica Simpson with Gabourey Sidibe, Patricia Arquette (looking dreadful) with Wendie Malick (ditto) , the Jonas Brothers, Donatella Versace, ScarJo with her twin brother, the Tasmanian Devil, MiserAlba with her husband, BETTY WHITE and Michelle Obama.