Hot Slut Of The Day!
Lance Orton, the NYC T-shirt street vendor who SAVED THE CITY! Or something like that.
By now I’m sure you’ve heard all about the sequel to The Hurt Locker taking place in NYC last night. Shit might have become a disaster if it wasn’t for Lance Orton, the Vietnam vet and T-shirt seller, who first told police about a smoking Nissan Pathfinder near his stand. Most hos walking by probably brushed the smoking SUV away, because they figured two stoners were just hot boxin’ again. But Lance immediately alerted a mounted police officer about the SUV. After the officer smelled gunpowder, Times Square was shut down, and Jeremy Renner was brought in to diffuse the situation.
Early this morning, reporters tried to interview Lance, but he threw all of them shade. Lance refused to talk to them, because he said the media will twist his words around. He only said, “If you see something, say something.”
Because I mostly write about attention whores who would give up their pancreas for a blurb in Life & Style magazine I sometimes forget that real people who could give a fuck about stupid shit like fame actually exist! Viva Lance!
(Image via Fox News Live Shots)