Gabriel Aubry Has The Sads

May 1, 2010 / Posted by:

Gabriel Aubry issued a statement last night confirming that he is no longer doing the nekkid Halle Berry dance on Halle Berry. Sad, right? It’s sad because he didn’t issue the statement in front of a video camera while lounging nekkid ass nekkid on a bear rug in front of a roaring fire with a rose between his peen lips. That’s the saddest part of all. Here’s Gabriel’s statement:

“While I will not comment on all of the wild inaccuracies being speculated about in the media, I am sad to say that Halle and I have decided together to separate at this time.

She is, and will forever be, one of the most special and beautiful people that I have ever known, and I am certain that we will continue to have only love and respect for one another.”

What he’s really trying to say is that their relationship could’ve been saved if only they knew about the Better Marriage Blanket months ago. Pretty people always cut the deadliest ass queefs.

Anyway, here’s Halle Berry mending her broken heart while holding on to the hand a hot piece in NYC last night. Dude could be her bodyguard, but she has a look on her face like she can’t wait to get home and open up her present. Nothing seals the cracks of a broken heart like peen glue.

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