In order to shoot down the accusation from Tito Ortiz that she’s slobbering at the mouth for OxyContin, Jenna Jameson got drug tested at the American Toxicology Inc. in Las Vegas on Tuesday. TMZ says that Jenna’s pee pee (that’s the exact medical term, by the way) tested negative for Oxycodone, cocaine, marijuana and meth. Jenna says that this proves Tito is making up lies to protect himself.
Shortly after Baby Huey was arrested for allegedly throwing Jenna into a bath tub, he claimed she was hopped up on OxyContin. Baby Huey denied he got violent on her ass and tried to make it sound like she stumbled into the tub on her own.
Jenna’s lawyer said this after the test results came back negative: “The lab tests clearly exonerate Jenna Jameson of any hint, iota, or suggestion that she ingested or was under the influence of any opiates or controlled substances. Statements made by anyone to the contrary are completely impeached by the results from this prestigious testing facility.”
I’ve been throwing a “who to believe” side-eye at this entire situation, but Jenna’s lawyer has convinced me to go sit in her corner. Just drop the word “prestigious” and I’m all yours. Although, I wish he would’ve used the word “prestidigiousous” instead. “Prestidigiousous” is the word one of my chola cousins uses to describe something she thinks is real nice. Example: “Damn, those white tips are prestidigiousous.”
I’m not making this up. Everyone knows “prestidigiousous” is way more prestigious than “prestigious.”