Looking like the Alabama Leprechaun in a Rick James wig, Whitney Houston continued to bring people to their feet at London’s O2 arena last night. However, bitches didn’t stand to honor Whitney’s glorious voice, they stood up so that they could bust out of there before their ears turned inside/out like Pete Doherty when you pour soap on him.
It isn’t exactly news that a Whitney Houston concert is the equivalent of reading my junior high school journals (sad, painful and nauseating), but she addressed her voice issues during last night’s show.
USA Today says that right after she viciously murdered I Will Always Love You, she stopped and told the audience, “She don’t want to come, my soprano friend. Sometimes the old girl sings, but not tonight. I want to do it, but she doesn’t want to. … She’s getting a little … temperamental, even.”
Whitney blamed it on the air conditioning in the arena, but she should’ve blamed it on a different kind of air: CRACK AIR. Whitney’s soprano friend isn’t coming back. Bitch quit Whit a long time ago. It is now happily living in the throat of a tubby Taiwanese boy with Tootie hair. It will not accept Whitney’s friend request. Sadly.
If for some reason you need to the clear the room you are currently in, press play on this video of Whitney singing last night.
Somewhere in the world, a crackhead’s light bulb pipe just burst.