Survivor’s Resident Greasy Troll Got Arrested

April 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Russell Hantz, the diabolical troll on Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, was put in toddler-sized handcuffs in Louisiana after he allegedly got violent on a bitch at the Festival International de Louisiane. Obviously, the bitch in question was wearing an “I Hate Ewoks” t-shirt. Or maybe they just failed to answer Russell’s riddle when trying to cross the bridge.

TMZ says that Russell got into a fight with someone and “shoved” them to the ground. The police took him down to the station and he was later released to the Keeblers.

HA. Okay, who did Russell get in a fight with? A special needs Roly Poly? Russell is the size of a Smurf’s hairy butt wart, so if he’s coming at you, all you have to do is squat a bit and hold up your palm to his forehead. After a few minutes of running in place, he’ll grow tired and take a nap at your feet.

With all that being said, I’d hit it. WELL, you know he would find an immunity idol in my asshole, and that would totally turn me on.

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