Another Day, Another Lohan Melodrama

If your Twitter page is receiving a million visits from the Twitter Whale today, you can thank Lindsay Lohan because she is burning that shit to the ground right now. Lilo has been (those three words love each other so much) has been breaking her Mac Book by Tweeting furiously about her father Michael Lohan showing up to her apartment this afternoon with a Sheriff.

TMZ says that Michael showed up to check on his 16-year-old daughter, The Curious Case of Ali Lohan, who is currently staying with Lilo. Michael convinced the Sheriff’s department to check on Ali after he told them she was in “Lindsay’s car on the way back from Coachella and the car was going over 100 mph.”

Here’s Lilo’s Tweets of crackery. If you need a quick high this afternoon and know you won’t be drug tested within the week, put your nose to this mess and snort. This shit is pure.

i have no choice but to make this public, due to my sister’s safety, as well as my own, “my ex-dad” just WALKED INTO MY APT like the devil’s
about 1 hour ago via web

advocate with officers….
about 1 hour ago via web

let’s not forget, that my father KIDNAPPED me from a COURT ROOM when i was 4 years old and is CRAZY
about 1 hour ago via web

he has NEVER paid child support, and is marrying a tabloid writer and can barely spell his own name due to his “brain” that has been ruined
about 1 hour ago via web

due to HIS drug use.
about 1 hour ago via web

when will it ever end… it’s been going on my whole life with him-hasn’t he caused enough pain ?
about 1 hour ago via web

thank g-d for my mommy… w/out her, i wouldn’t even know myself..
about 1 hour ago via web

@Lara_Disco my lawyer isn’t answering I NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER! MY SISTER AND FRIEND TOO!!!!! HE’S NUTS!!!
about 1 hour ago via web in reply to Lara_Disco

@Jeannette___ my BUILDING didn’t STOP him, isn’t it supposed to be safe? THAT’S WHY I MOVED HERE! it coulda been FAKE cops! dressed up!
about 1 hour ago via web in reply to Jeannette

The Sheriff briefly had words with Ali before leaving Lilo’s apartment. They let Ali stay there. Michael says he will continue to fight the fight until Lilo goes to rehab and Ali is removed from her house.

While all of this was going down, White Oprah was lying on her bathroom floor in a white spritzer/Adderal coma. Nana Lohan had to turn the hose on her so that she could wake up and issue a statement regarding this mess. White Oprah simply said this: “I was told by my attorneys not to speak because it is very serious and my ex could be in big trouble. He’s dangerous…. If he can’t get to them he is going to try to hurt them — it’s not good.”

This post is already way too long, so I’m only going to say that SuperNanny needs to put all four of these weepy ass babies in a permanent TIME OUT. Just face the corner, and never turn around again.