Amanda Woodward Can’t Drive

April 21, 2010 / Posted by:

Heather Locklear was arrested Saturday morning (the above mug shot is from her DUI arrest in 2008) for murdering a no-parking sign with her car and then driving off without telling anyone. TMZ says that Heather’s Tiger Woods moment happened at around 4 in the morning near her home in Ventura, CA. A neighbor who heard the crash reported that mess a few hours later.

After a short investigation, the cops confirmed that Heather’s 2005 BMW was the murder weapon and damage to her car proved this. They arrested Heather for hitting and running. Since the charge is a misdemeanor, they didn’t need to haul her ass down to the station (I love saying that shit). They just cited and released her.

Heather is currently on probation after she pleaded no contest to DUI and reckless driving charges back in 2008.

Now, let’s not jump to conclusions and scream that Heather must have been driving under the influence of everything in her medicine cabinet. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe that bitchy ass no-parking sign gave Heather all sorts of shade. It probably threatened to fuck her man, poison her make-up and steal her company. It’s the Lexi Sterling of parking signs! I would’ve run over that cunt too!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >