After OctoMom wrote Oprah a long ass letter asking for a chance to tell her story through her own words, The Mighty O granted her wish and spent the day inside her house of diapers and insanity. OctoMom’s cave is filled with nannies, screeching brats, diarrhea-filled diapers and flying peas. It pretty much looks like feeding hour at Larry King’s house.
During the interview with Oprah, OctoMom said she has several regrets including posing in a bikini for Star Magazine. We regret that too, Octo (SAID THE WORLD).
Octo said that Star paid her ass $100,000 and she had no choice but to take their offer so that she could feed her child army. She said that she would never ever do a reality show or give her kids away, “I will do anything in my power to secure what I need to, on my own, without exploiting my children, to secure revenue so I can provide that.”
Octo admitted that she also feels all sorts of guilt for bringing a million chirruns into the home of a single woman without a job. She went on to explain, “We’re so busy going, going, going, moving, moving, moving, trying to keep up that you don’t have time to think, to reflect, to feel anything. And it is a choice. I own all of the responsibility for my poor choices in the past. Do I regret it? You can’t regret children. But the choices were childish. They were immature. They were selfish. Are we defined by our choices? Our behavior? Our actions? No. I don’t believe that defines our worth. I feel as though I wasn’t thinking at that time”
And I feel as though you’re never fucking thinking, Octo! Actually, Octo seemed a little less Crazy McCrazy during her hour with Oprah. Maybe she smoked a bowl or devoured an entire bottle of Valium beforehand, because she normally acts like she’s about to give Snow White a poisonous apple. Which leads me to the clip above….
In the clip, Octo catches Clarissa Riverdancing all over one of the babies in his crib. Baby was probably stressed the hell out from being in that crazy house, so Clarissa was trying to give him a massage. That’s all!
A few seconds later, one of Octo’s sons refused to go to school. She told him that if he didn’t go, Child Protective Services would come to take his ass away. Strangely enough, the kid didn’t start screaming, “CALL THEM! PLEASE! CALL THEM!”
You know, threatening CPS on a child is amateur hour. My abuelita used to threaten me with a little visit from her chankla. And if that didn’t work, she threatened to send me to the gypsies who would force me to sleep in a wolf cave and steal bread from bakeries. So a CPS threat ain’t shit!