Lindsay Lohan Can’t Even Get A Juniper Mastercard

April 19, 2010 / Posted by:

Apparently Lindsay Lohan is dodging calls from creditors harder than she dodges a bottle of shampoo. That’s if you believe Radar anyway. Their sources say that the Nicolas Cage of cokeys has racked up $600,000 in credit card debt. One credit card company has already dropped her ass, and the others are thisclose to doing the same. Suze Orman, come get this bitch.

The source says that Brokehan is spitting out money faster than she’s making it. She used to make a small fortune from club appearances, but now she can only command $5,000 to $10,000 a party. The source went on to say, “One credit card company is going to discuss a payment plan for Lindsay. But if she doesn’t have the income and can’t make her payments, they are prepared to sue her.”

This yet another example of White Oprah’s failure as a parent. Didn’t White Oprah teach Lindsay about the sport of floating payments? Lindsay just has to take one of those handy blank checks your credit company gives you and use it to make a payment to a different credit card. You keep doing that until: a) you get thrown in prison for fraud (free food and snatch) or b) Obama decides to bail out troubled child stars.

Here’s Lindsay looking better than ever at Coachella yesterday. And I’m only saying she looks better than ever, because she resembles a 1980s hitchhiker who is handjobbing her way through the country to get to a Def Leppard concert in Florida.

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